Wonder Women

Babies, Not Birds and Bees

The kids and I studied human birth and development this year and I had to pass along a fantastic resource for Christian parents: Life Before Birth. It doesn't tell the whole story of conception so it's appropriate for younger kids. It also discounts the evolutionary dogma that leads to pro-abortion attitudes. If you're a homeschooler, this a wonderful resource. But if you're just a mom or grandma who wants to share the miracle of conception and birth with your children, this book is a must-have!

High-Tech Grandma

My mom has always lived about four hours away so she hasn't been able to spend much time with my kids. Mom is retired now and has been pursuing lots of interesting hobbies (karaoke, scrapbooking, and now writing). She started two blogs that have been such a blessing for the kids and me. In her personal blog, she shares stories from her past (mostly her childhood). I've begged her to do this for years and finally her brother talked her into it. Thanks, Uncle Keith! I now read the stories to the kids at lunch and we can all enjoy them together.

Her second blog is for her stories for children. I read these to the kids at lunch, too, or at bedtime. She uses pictures of my kids or clip art to illustrate them. What a joy it is to have my kids ask, "Did Grandma write another story?"

My mom is so creative. Leave it to her to come up with a wonderful way to stay connected with grandchildren across the miles.

 

Scream Free Parenting

Screamfree Parenting: The Revolutionary Approach to Raising Your Kids by Keeping Your Cool by Hal Edward Runkel (Paperback - Aug 19, 2008)

While on a trip to Disney World, I read Screamfree Parenting on my Kindle. I wasn't expecting a lot, but I really got a lot out of it. Although it is not a Christian book, it is clearly written in accordance with Christian principles.  The author suggests that at the heart of many of our parenting frustrations is fear. He confronts us with our own poor self-control and asks why we should expect our children to control themselves if we can't. One of his most convicting points is that every failure to discipline is a broken promise to a child. His book supports two talks I've been doing: one on fearless parenting and the other on fearless homeschooling. It's a quick read and I highly recommend it.

Naughty is expensive!

Spend Adamcode.com Release Date: Jan 28, 2009 Genre: Finance © 2008 Adam Williams

I have mentioned before that I use the IPhone app "Spend" to keep track of my kids' allowance. I also wanted to mention how I use it in my parenting in general. This approach can easily be used with a desktop computer or a notebook, too. I just don't like doing all the math with six kids!

I give my kids an allowance of 50 cents per year of age a week. So my eight year old gets $4 a week. Of that, they are to give at least 10% to God. I used to have at least a 10% savings rule, but most of the kids do really, really well with savings. I was also giving them interest for savings, but I was in danger of going bankrupt! The kids use their money for extras--like a shake or a happy meal if we get fast food. Or for music downloads on ITunes.

When the kids do something exceptional, I give them bonuses which is 10% of their weekly allowance. It makes it fair and it's easy to remember. This afternoon, the 4yo asked the 6yo if he wanted to sit in her chair at the nursing home. I about fell OFF my chair! That was definitely bonus worthy. On the other hand, when they do something unacceptable, they are fined 10% of their allowance. Just today I increased the fine for physical injury to 20%. I'm adopting a no tolerance policy. I'll have less hitting and if not, at least I'll have more money. :-) Actually, the way it works is the injured party gets the payment from the perpetrator--just like in adult life.

This kind of system may not work for you if your kids aren't motivated by money. My kids cry and cry if they get a fine. Works for me!

Twilight Update

I've gotten a lot of feedback on my Twilight review and wanted to update you.

First, I talked with someone whose daughter has read the books and she hasn't. She thanked me profusely for my feedback and borrowed my book so she can read it and discuss it with her daughter. I think using this as a means of generating discussion about relationships with your daughters is excellent!

Second, I've heard from some people that they don't want me raining on their Edward parade. LOL I totally get that! I definitely enjoyed the book. Some of us know that there are no men like Edward, but we'd like to indulge the fantasy.

Third, I've heard from some that the books actually get better in terms of moral behavior, i.e. Edward actually resists a sexual relationship as Solomon does in the Song of Solomon (also a great book that can be found in the Bible). I anticipate reading more of the books in the series and may give further reviews in the future.

Finally, I've heard from some that they totally agree with me. One concern I have is this--that my concerns could be used to judge others. I am so grateful that as a Christian I am free from the law. There are Christians who would be very unhappy with many of the choices I make. I gave my review not to sit in judgement of those who read these books or allow their children to, but as food for thought. I trust God enough to allow Him to guide your choices as He does mine. Any finger pointing I do needs to be done in a mirror. :-)

Happy reading!

And the winner is...

Heidi! Thanks so much for commenting. I hope you will consider attending Hearts at Home in Illinois or Minnesota and if that isn't possible, consider ordering some of the presentations on CD. You won't be sorry you did. Heidi, if you will email me at melphd@aol.com with your full name and mailing address, Hearts at Home will send you a book on Life Balance. I enjoyed your blog and I hope you will post a review of the book there! I can determine if it's one I ought to read.

Robin, thank you, too. I just want you to know that I put 3 names in a drawer (2 for Heidi and 1 for you) and had my 6yo pick. LOL

Have a blessed weekend! 

Is Your Heart at Home?

I have twice had the pleasure of attending a Hearts at Home conference in Bloomington, Illinois. The opportunity to have time away from all the demands of motherhood to laugh and learn with other mothers from around the country was truly a blessing. I have taken home tips and resources on everything from home decorating, to sex in marriage, to discipline. I have homeschooling and non-homeschooling friends who look forward to it as their one getaway for the year. 

This week I will be blogging for Hearts at Home  in the effort to encourage you to attend one of their fabulous conferences in Rochester, MN (Nov. 7-8) or Bloomington, IL (Mar. 13-14). Quite honestly, it would be a dream come true for me to present at a Hearts at Home conference some day in the future! Until then, I will enjoy giving away a book on Friday to a lucky commenter on any of the following questions:

1. Why is it so challenging to keep your heart at home?

2. How do you keep your heart at home?

3. What do you do to keep your Mommy batteries recharged?

Everything I Ever Wanted to Be

When I was a little girl, I wanted to be…

A teacher

A singer

An actress

And a dancer.

When I was a teenager, I wanted to be…

A lawyer

A doctor

A writer

And a hairdresser.

When I was grown, I wanted to be…

A business owner

A psychologist

And a speaker.

Today I teach children what really matters, sing to little ones when they play in the tub, act like there’s nothing to be afraid of, and dance with little partners to the radio. I work to settle the nastiest disputes, diagnose the most painful owies, write little love notes, and manage many different ‘do’s. I track allowances, listen to children to determine what makes them tick, and speak to them motivationally. I am a mother. And that’s everything I ever wanted to be.

Gifts that Last

If you're a mother of young children, you may wonder what to buy them for Christmas. I know I do! I have five boys, so I own just about every conceivable boy toy there is. I hate to see expensive toys that are quickly broken or never played with. Like you, I'd like to give my children gifts that last.

I have two suggestions for you and I'd love to hear yours. First, focus on three gifts per child. I'm not saying you have to limit yourself to that, but if you do, hooray for you! I use an approach I read about in Christian Parenting Today years ago. I give each child a gold, frankincense, and myrhh gift. The gold gift is either the most expensive or most desired gift wrapped in gold paper. I love to surprise my kids with this one. The frankincense gift is anything that facilitates their relationship with God (a Bible, CD, video, toy, devotional that has to do with faith). This is wrapped in white. Finally, a myrrh gift is anything to do with the body. I did a LOT of bath toys with this one for a while, but I'm now shifting to clothing. This is wrapped in dark paper--I usually use a dark mauve if I can find it. I have miniatures of the real gifts that we discuss each Christmas Eve and the significance of them to the Christ child.

My other suggestion to you is to give your children the gift of giving. It's very time-consuming for me to take my children shopping for each other (we draw names) or to give them time to shop for us, but it's important. My kids also put boxes together for www.samaritanspurse.org. We watch a video with our homeschool group every year to see the kids get their boxes. It makes their giving very real to them. The new site I've found that I'm excited about is www.markmakers.org. You can buy your child a gift certificate that s/he can then decide how to spend. Many different causes and charities are linked.

If your child has everthing, teach them to give to someone who doesn't! Happy Christmas planning!

A Wonder Mom Parents in Less Than 3 Minutes

Thanks to Erika for sharing this!